New Moon in Libra; It’s All About Love!
New Moon in Libra yesterday; did you feel the Love? The new moon in Libra, Sept.24th, is all about Love. How do we experience Love? What is our relationship with Love? Do we feel empowered by love or do we feel we are at its mercy? Do we have the love we want? And ultimately how do we love ourselves? Libra being the sign of love, is actually bringing up all aspects of love to be transformed at this time… especially for me, being recently divorced, it is an opportunity to reflect upon my experience of what I think Love is and what may not really be love at all.
Like most of the women I see as patients, I realize the strong pattern within, of innate longing to experience love with another person. When entering into relationship or considering a candidate there is usually an initial period when we may feel head over heels for someone else. This experience is what we refer to as “love at first sight” which we may feel “blinded by love”. There is a certain feeling of excitement, of anticipation, and of intensity that happens and we think we are falling in love. After the initial daze has worn off, we progress in relationships, experiencing a clearing of our senses and begin to see things very differently than they appeared at the very beginning. At that stage, if you choose to continue in the relationship; a deeper, truer love connection begins to develop and unfold.
What I have noticed is how intense that initial period may be, which according to studies, may have nothing to do with love itself. This initial period of extreme excitement is produced by a chemical affect on our bodies through the production of Dopamine. As humans, we are innately programmed to reproduce and further procreate on the planet. Dopamine is nature’s way of insuring that the race continues. So, in reality all that intensity, immediate clouding of our brains and lack of discernment when we first meet someone, is basically the result of Dopamine in our brains.
Couple this Dopamine response with our unmet psychological need of being loved and acknowledged, and you have a deadly combination. Our psychological unmet needs may lay dormant, but most of us have some desire of wanting to experience love and be in love. So whether it is the dopamine response making decisions for us or our own psychological neediness, both will cloud our judgments and real love becomes indistinguishable at that point.
Is there really such a thing as love at first sight? This is arguable, according to different sources, but we do know for a fact that this first intense clouded feeling is produced by dopamine… and thereafter there may be love as well, but it is best to allow the dopamine response to settle so that we are able to discern for ourselves if it indeed is a compatible match. Along with this, it is also advisable to reframe our need for love. So, as we ponder this question of love, we may ask… is it love, is it biochemistry, or is it our own neediness?
So how do we protect ourselves from our own biochemistry and temporary delusional states of Dopamine?
1. It is important to realize our psychological need for love and how much of that inner need we are projecting and expecting from a mate? Re-establishing our relationship to love by recognizing that love itself is the source within us, and comes from us, rather than putting our need for love outside of ourselves. This is an important piece in winning the battle of delusion. If we can connect with the fact that love is all around us and originates within us, then we don’t have to feel so lonely because we can start to feel love all the time, whether with our pets, our kids, our friends, or even walking in nature. Starting to shift our perception of love is the most important key of all. This will lessen our psychological dependency of the illusion of thinking that love is something outside of ourselves, rather than the essence of our being, which we already own!
2. When we meet someone, expect to be drawn in by the nice complements, by the attention, and the possibility of this “being the one”. Be conscious of the fact that your brain is releasing dopamine and that it is not necessarily love.
3. Give yourself time and space so that the dopamine effects calm down, and you can start discerning things clearly (usually this will take a couple of weeks). You will start noticing the things that you missed or that you just didn’t want to pay attention. Time is critical in this situation, and if there is a genuine interest on both parts, the relationship will unfold, after the initial affects of the dopamine have settled down; giving true love a chance to flourish.
So, this New Moon in Libra has taught me to differentiate and be more conscious of the stages we may call love and how my biochemistry, combined with my inner needs can create havoc and interfere with actually loving myself and fulfilling my needs. Once we know and understand our emotions and reactions, we can make better decisions that are based on actuality rather than on illusion. We do not have to be victims of the illusion of love as something mystically outside of ourselves. We can recognize our essence of love, and be less dependent on outside factors to meet our inner needs. In this way, we empower ourselves to take care of ourselves and truly love ourselves first and then make room for love from another to compliment that!
It’s important to know love and know our chemistry!
New moons are about transforming our old paradigms of how we have been experiencing life and bringing in new awareness, creating room for new creations in our lives. This new moon offers us an opportunity to redefine our relationship with Love… and reestablish a relationship with Love that empowers us and meets our deepest needs.
If you would like to experience a new reality of your True self and explore your healing possibilities either through private sessions, long-distance skype, workshops, classes or on line programs please contact me; Dr. Leonor N. Murciano at Contact@NourishingWomen.com
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